So, I was shopping for some new clothes for Kenn on Amazon, and I came across a review for “Man Bun Ken” (not to be confused with my ‘Mann Bunn Kenn’). It was so funny that I am copying it here for your reading enjoyment.
I’m lucky that my Kenn is so nice and friendly, and such a good travel partner!
UPDATE: I forgot about something with Kenn that happened when I was boarding my flight home from PHX. I was on the boarding ramp and there was an older couple in line behind me. I heard them talking to each other about a doll and a child. I turned around and the wife said, “we saw the doll in your backpack so we were looking for the child.” To which I replied, “I am the child!” The husband replied, “It is good that you recognize this.” Not that it matters but I think they were German.
Review is below. Enjoy!
Casual, not-trying-to-be-cool, irrefutably arrogant, and far superior to the good old fashioned Malibu Ken of my youth, Man Bun Ken arrived via USPS this morning.
As soon as I removed him from the box, he snarled and demanded a coconut milk latte. He was obviously disgusted by our standard drip brewer and he dug through the remnants of his box in search of his siphon coffee maker. Unsuccessful, he made a show of dumping my offered mug of coffee down the sink.
He spent the next two hours in the bathroom, and, just as I would do with a new puppy, I figured it was best to leave him alone and let him quietly adapt. Nonetheless, I heard him in the bathroom slamming cabinets and mumbling about “product”. His hair didn’t LOOK any different when he finally emerged, but my flat iron was hot and he kept pointing to his head and mumbling about how hard it was to deal with long hair in this horrible humidity and how necessary it was to just tie it up out of the way. I’m not positive but it looked like he might be wearing lip gloss.
Man Bun Ken asked to borrow a yoga mat but didn’t attempt any yoga. He lay down on the mat and fell asleep on the back porch, and woke up to a nasty sunburn on his legs where his shorts were shredded. I offered aloe but he grew angry when I couldn’t prove that it was organic.
I’m sure Man Bun Ken will settle in eventually, but heed my warning. These things take time. Don’t expect him to be friendly and pleasant right out of the box. If this is your first rescue, I might recommend that you start with something like “Great Puppy Adventure Skipper” or “Barbie Careers Farmer Doll”. Either of these choices will be far less dramatic and will probably require fewer interventions.